what we never had is what we wanted the most

We find ourselves in a position in our lives where we feel torn between what we are used to, pride in accepting that what we needed we didn't really need, and letting anyone or anything in simply because it is so much easier to have nothing than to worry about losing something once we get it. But honestly that feeling we get with something so new and so fresh and so endearing and genuine, I hope none of who may be reading this is as stubborn or hard headed as I for in that I almost lost what I think my soul needed to learn. It is easy to miss what we've had but much easier to miss what we were purposely avoiding. Here I am in a town/state I'd never been to till I moved here and find myself more vulnerable than ever. It is so easy to caught up or atleast it makes a good excuse for running. People are people let them and life be what it is, unchangeable is the past and it's ridiculous for me or anyone for that matter to base my present and future off of what I've had and what I've missed. Being alone is like being on a very addicting drug, easy and so fucking hard all at the same time. Although everyone says in our minds you're not alone they're absolutely right we aren't. Relativity between people between complete strangers between the unexpected and what we fear we find little shards of ourselves and in those we find strength. Fear is healthy and in my mind kind of fun,although not most enjoy being in a foreign place with very little to call their own, I find more of me in these towns and the people than I think I could find in a good shopping spree, partly cause I hate shopping but more so because life's unexpected surprises are the confidence in the end we find in our souls strength.

what we never had is what we wanted the most